0 Paris isn't...

 Paris isn't all wine and pots of muguet for your balcon ya know...

 1rst things first.
Get a Brita water purifyer.
Paris water is full of calc. It will stain every bit of the cuisine/kitchen. Get some white vinegar to get rid of the marks!

 You don't want to have to load up on non-green bouteille de plastique oui?

 Your 'bedhead' hair won't much care for Paris water no matter how in love you are. No wonder all the hairdressers in this town!

 Paris layers - don't we love the way Parisians layer on those scarves and pulls. There's a method to their madness. Be prepared to strip off your morning clothes by noon. Then put them back on again for evening. And for Gawd's sake follow the weather report.

 If you're dying to live in Paris learn to love map reading and I don't mean chocolate maps!

 Start boning up on politics.

You have a lot of catching up to do.

 Paris adores New York.

Meh

Why oh why?

Just accept.

c'est la vie.

 Paris LOVES lollie pops/sucettes!

Pourquoi?

Qui sait?

But you'll find them at all price points. These jazzy jaguar numbers were in La Grande Epicerie and I don't like to think what they cost. Stick with Chupi Chups at 39 centimes a pop (no pun intended).

 Temptation lurks on every coin/corner in Paris. Here at Georges Larnicol kouign Amann in 18 flavors at the very least.

 Or creme puffy wonders at Ble sucre.

maim maim

 For every tempting morsal Paris offers up there is (for balance) reminders at Bus stops...oh everywhere to watch/control your ligne/figure.

 Wanna live in Paris?

Learn to love lapin/rabbits.

 And poule/chickens - this chick belongs to Chef Marthe.

 Find your inner child.

Paris may be the goofiest town on the planet.

Get SILLY!

 Learn to LOVE Coca!

 Loving stripes is easy.

 And loving red.

Red shoes = perfection with all-black

 But bring shoes with traction for wet cobblestones.

 READ ALL THE RULES!

There are many in Paris.

 Guard your key/cley.

Wear it at all times on your person.

 Losing your cley can cost and arm and a leg and much ire from the rentor/guardien. I know someone who locked herself out THREE times! The key was hanging inside the door. Easily $300 bucks a pop to open her door.

Pas Bon!

 Paris dogs are a joy. No complaints in this area.

Letting in the morning fresh air in your little place is cool too. I suppose Paris isn't so bad...

0 Red Shoes

 Red shoes.

What's not to love?

These are my Repetto red shoes (with sequins not dots Amy). I 'won' them (110€ instead of 180€) in Galeries Lafayette lower shoe department the same day I won a full box of Pierre Herme macarons!

TOP O' THE WORLD!

 Red shoes in Paris attract me like a magnet.

 I have way too many pictures of them.

 Especially ballerinas.

 Red does add spice to life.

 It's an upper for sure.

 Like the red raspberry on Jean-Paul Hevin's chocolat framboise.

 Or the famous 'Cerise sur le Gateau' of Pierre Herme.

 A touch of red goes a long way. I've no idea what these mini bebe bottles are for by SOUTH PIGALLE. Do you?

 Love this red lunette sign.

 And the red napkin when M. made me lunch. Note the red radis, red beets, red table cloth. Who doesn't love red?

 A wolf clasps a red heart in Le Loup Qui Cherchait Une Amoureuse. Wolves can be sweet...Who knew?

 Can one wear too much red?
In Paris, evidently not...

 If you should decide to break the bank and buy some red Repettos, for Gawd's sake get the accompanying shopping bag.

I got yelled at by French Girl,

'What?!

You bought the shoes and left the bag?

There are so many uses for such a bag!!'

Do we love red shoes because we wore red Mary Janes as a kid? Or else longed to wear them..?

0 The Bridges of Venice

It's impossible to visit Venice...
And not walk over a bridge.
In fact there's some controversy over exactly HOW MANY BRIDGES THERE ARE IN VENICE?
Some say,

"Venezia è costruita su 117 piccole isole e ha 150 canali e 409 ponti"

Or...

"Venice has 117 small islands, 150 channels and 409 bridges"

Whilst others proclaim,

Venice has 117 islands connected by 378 bridges.

Whatever. You're bound to walk over quite a few if not all of them...

Looking at these photos I'm a bit sorry I didn't spring for a gondola just for a different perspective from leaning over bridges...

Certainly you'll need a good 'cuppa' before venturing over the bridges.

Though I wouldn't venture out it these shoes...

Nor even these gorgeous Italian numbers...

Remember the steps are very wide...

So workers can cart everything under the sun over those bridges. How else will you get your pane e tulipani?

I hope you enjoyed this little escape from reality. I did.

BUON GIORNO PONTI di VENEZIA