Thursday, June 14, 2012

0 Basic French Training


 Yesterday's post on 'Stripe Training' got me thinking about Basic French Training in general. Most French cultural ways are instilled in infancy if not sooner IMHO. Like the essential wearing of trench coats for example.
 The bow too is a key to unlock the secrets of French je ne sait quoi
 The fine tuning of the famous French taste buds begins with a vast variety of penny candy. Wearing it on your T-shirt doesn't hurt a bit in developing one's connoisseurship from the get-go. It's never too early to start. Haribo here I come!
 The fine arts of pastry indoctrination begins as soon as little hands can grasp a crayon.
 As explained in Bringing Up Bebe, French children bake every weekend. I tried this in hopes of a bit of regression therapy, but my cake was a mess and I did NOT wait to eat it at 'gouter'/snack time (4:30 PM). So both the arte of waiting and baking were completely lost on moi. 'You can't go home again' as Thomas Wolfe said, especially if France wasn't your home to begin with.
Lecon learned - no more weekend baking for me.
 I've invited author, Vivian Swift of Le Road Trip, over for tea today. Let's hope I do a better job of it and can catch up to this savvy kidlets.
 On to more serious training like the wearing of the French scarf. You can pick up a lot about what makes the French tick if you just lower your eyes to 3-foot level in my opinion.
 Since everyone desperately wants to be French (or at least 95% of us) consider looking down at the French kiddies instead of running off to Ave. Montagne and Dior.
 Why Don't French Women get fat?
They start wearing those horizontal stripes early.
 VERY early.
 Even French dogs get stripe training.
 If you want your kiddie painted in stripes instead of a floral pattern just ask straight away - pas de problem.
 Developing the senses early is de rigueur.
At a recent book fair an editor told me she'd just spent 6 months in Paris and French moms did NOT participate in sandbox activities at all. Instead they were off on a bench chatting. Clearly she had not read Bringing Up Bebe nor had her child had 'sand training' to develope the sense of touch and taste.
Clearly I won't be getting any review copies from her in the near future either, ahem.
 May I suggest a visit to Il Etait Une Fois..5, rue Casette 75006 or any other any other kid's toy or clothing store. Rue Vavin is another good place to get your Basic French Training.
 
Bear, being French, agrees completely!

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